WRITTEN BY DANA BARBEE AND JADEN FISKE Have you ever heard of the term ‘Gaslighting’? There is a very good chance that you’ve heard someone use this term, whether in conversation with you or someone else. You may have even said it yourself. But do you know what it really means? The term ‘Gaslighting’ is derived from the 1944 movie Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer. The movie starts by introducing a love story between the main characters Paula and Gregory. While at first, the pair seem to be deeply in love, as the film progresses, it becomes evident to the viewer that their romance is evolving into something more dangerous. The love between Paula and Gregory is slowly turning toxic and manipulative. Paula, with the deceptions of Gregory’s manipulations, believes she is slowly going mad. While there are many things Gregory does to convince her of that, the primary factor is the change in the gas lamps. Paula begins to notice that, in moments when she is alone in the house, the gas that powers the lamps within the house decreases and increases, as opposed to staying constant, which is what inspired the term ‘Gaslighting’. We’ll link the movie below to let you decide to watch the film to witness these manipulations for yourself. In today’s world, though we no longer rely on gas lights to illuminate our homes, spoken words may have massive effects on another’s mental health and self-esteem.
The Merriam-Webster definition of ‘gaslighting’ is “Psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, the uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.” The words highlighted in blue are together a simplified definition for ‘Gaslight’. Much like Paula in the film, a person who is gaslit will begin to have doubts about the accuracy of their own thoughts. That mental process results in them consistently being convinced by others that their instincts are incorrect and that it is something they are imagining. It is very common to see the victim of gaslighting begin to rely on their manipulator to tell them what is true or not. The use of this term, however, has become so casual that most of its significance has been lost. When hearing it used in the hallways of schools, it is often mistaken as a synonym for lying or tricking someone. Though this is an honest misunderstanding from frequent exposure to the word, gaslighting is much more severe than a single lie or misworded sentence. It is unfortunate and frightening to think that a simple conversation, or even a relationship with the wrong person can lead a person down the path of becoming gaslit. Many people have to go through that process of slowly feeling that they are mentally losing themselves and the trust they had for themselves before ever coming to the conclusion that they are experiencing something they don’t deserve. In current times, gaslighting is seen as a joke and is disregarded as a serious topic. This issue leads many people to overlook the widespread dilemma. In summary, gaslighting is an incredibly destructive behavior to be around and in no way should be taken as a joke, or used in a joking manner. Being gaslit can greatly affect a person’s mental health, and self-confidence, and can lead a person to believe they are going insane. Though it is impossible to control what another person says, there are other actions you can take for yourself to prevent being gaslit. The best method to prevent being a victim of gaslighting is to stay firm in your beliefs while being open-minded to other expressed opinions. It is crucial to have an open and inclusive mindset when listening to someone’s story. We should never immediately deny a person’s opinion due to its opposition to our own, nor should we cover our ears when hearing about a situation until we can hear all perspectives or as much literal truth as we can. You may disagree with what you hear in the conversation, but remaining curious, attentive, and respectful can help create a more accepting and healthy dynamic. Conversations can only be effective if all those involved hear all sides and attempt to find one another’s similarities instead of focusing on differences. Gaslighting is similar to a wildfire and spreads like one. Please help us extinguish its flame. Comments are closed.
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AuthorDana Barbee Archives
May 2023
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